THE JOYS OF SEX TOYS: FROM A-Z (Cont)
Hobble skirts: If you’re into kinky sex
and you don’t want your partner to get away from you too
fast, put her in this tight fitting leather or rubber skirt. Make
sure she wears high heels. Get out the whip and watch her hobbling
along.
Hoods: No, it’s got nothing to do with
Robin Hood and little Red Riding Hood getting down and dirty.
These refer to a leather or rubber covering for the head used
in BDSM. Some hoods have mouth holes (but not an asshole –
it does not go down that far). There are even deluxe models for
those with fashion fetishes featuring built-in earmuffs or earphones
– also serve to block out all sensory stimuli. Suffer baby,
suffer! Almost all hoods do however have nose holes. Pretty obvious.
Jelly: It’s not Sunday desert! It refers
to a rubbery material used in the manufacture of some sex toys
and feels like the chewy, gummy type sweets you loved as a kid.
Latex: The rubbery plastic commonly used in
the manufacture of sex toys.
Lubricants: “Slippery when wet”
is not a warning in this case. In fact, the wetter, the better.
There are a variety of specially formulated emollients (oils,
lotions and creams) for use on anything that needs to slip or
slide during sex, increasing the comfort factor considerably.
Mask: This is a face covering, normally made
of cloth or leather, which is worn to increase the X-factor in
“erotic eXcitement” in S&M and bondage play. A
word of warning: not a mask to be worn to the annual Christmas
ball, or any ball for that matter.
Massage oils: Scented lotions and oils that
are used during erotic massages (or therapeutic ones) to spice
up your sensual play.
Massager: No, not the guy that’s going
to give you the time of your life. This is what vibrators used
to be called when they were sold primarily to promote muscle massage.
However, their use has become far more popular as sensual sex
toys – viva for sexual liberation, viva!
Masturbator: These are sex toys used by men
to give them a taste of the real thing during masturbation. To
increase the “real thing” experience, most masturbators
are crafted to look like vaginas (in which case they are called
“sleeves” or “penis sleeves”). In some
cases a vibrator is fixed in the toy for more penis sensation.
Mummification or cocooning: This is about the
most complete form of bondage. A person is wrapped up, usually
with cling film limb by limb, so they are completely immobile.
Nipple clamps/nipple clips: One can never accessorize
enough when it comes to the sensation sensitive areas of the body.
Nipple toys are worn by both men and women and are often attached
with a chain.
PC muscle (AKA pubococcygeus muscle): This refers
to a sling of muscles that support the pelvic floor and encircles
the genitals of both sexes. Exercise it and you may experience
stronger and more intense orgasms.
Penis pump: If you’re a short dick man
and plastic surgery is not an immediate option, this is the tool
to pump up your performance. It is a mechanical device that creates
a vacuum-like suction around the penis, coaxing more blood into
little willy. But don’t expect miracles – it only
results in a somewhat larger and firmer erection that is temporary.
Penis sleeve: See masturbator
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